Learning to Walk

man flu

For the last few days I have been full of a pretty stinking cold which has been stopping me from sleeping well and causing me to get breathless at every day tasks.  I think it's actually an infection now and if it doesn't clear up I'll need to get some antibiotics.

It is a pain because we had people with us for the weekend and I felt somewhat distant much of the time, it has stopped me from going running, and is just a bit gross generally - but I think I am risking spilling the unsavoury details now, so I'd better go.

to the coast

We have been planning for a while to head down to Millport for a few days seeing as it is the only holiday that we share between now and the summer and so, if you visit the blog between now and the weekend, you may not expect to see any change!  But I thought I'd leave you with a psalm, which was shared by the person leading the prayer meeting at St Silas this morning.

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The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.  He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

seeing the light

About 18 months ago I started wearing glasses all of the time; it's not that I can't see well without them, just that everything (especially smaller writing and faces at a distance) is harder to focus on and has slightly blurred edges without them.  But last summer I trod on my glasses and the frames (not surprisingly) didn't live to see the end of the tale.

Since then I have had an eye test and tried several times to pick out new glasses without ever quite making it to the buying stage.  But today the saga was finally brought to a close when YKW, tiring of the fact that I keep on moving the sofa closer to the TV, forced me into a shop and helped me pick out a new pair.

So no more blurred images and tonight we even watched a film without moving the sofa!

where i'm at

It has been a strange old week so far; I have been gathering information and starting to write up my research project and have got a lot of work done for my job - to the extent that I probably need to scale back a bit next week - but I still feel that it hasn't been a good week so far.  Other things have been adding to a real sense of frustration and a feeling of the need for a bit of head space.  In short, I feel a little bit flat.

Some of the causes of this feeling I can identify: I'm adjusting back into the 'student' life following an extended placement in a 'work' environment, I'm nervous about next term which is going to be very busy (the busiest term I've ever had at college, module wise), I'm  aware of some troubling circumstances which give me concern for close friends, I'm spending a lot of time alone (a necessary requirement of intensive study - but not the best for an EFSP!), and as a couple we are also feeling a bit of stress at home with YKW beginning the process of applying for lots of jobs coupled with the uncertainty of where we will actually be.

I have the sense that a break may be good and thankfully a mini-break is coming tomorrow when we are heading to Northern Ireland for a long weekend and a friends wedding on Monday.  We have also been trying to put a trip to Italy for a few days skiing together in the one week that we both have off in the school holidays, until I realised today that my Provincial Selection Panel is a day later than I had thought!  We still might try though as we could have 4 days of skiing which would be great; but not quite sure.

So... I'm not really sure what I am learning from all of this - but there must be something.  Watch this space...

sad

Things have been making me sad recently.  But I'm fine.  Just sad.

work in progress

I have been reminded this weekend of a great truth; that I, that we, are works in progress.  I am not sure what I think about that, because so often I wish that I could be the finished article.  But I'm not.  And the reminders that I'm not always seem to come at a time when I am in danger of getting carried away with myself, in danger of thinking that I bring more to the party than I actually do.

This reminder, this truth, is something that I pray will actually help me as I seek to serve God.  The week ahead will be busy and challenging for a number of reasons, with lots of meetings and things for work, but also the need to try and find a little more balance in terms of making time for my best friend.  But in it all I know that this lesson will be ringing true in my ears, and my prayer will be that I will not allow me to stand in the way of making the progress that by the power of God at work I can continue to make.

waiting

For the past few weeks our boiler has been making a bit of a funny noise when it is first switched on.  I thought initially that it was the wind making a 'whistling' noise through the pipe, but I have decided I should get it checked.  Especially because my Dad is coming up for the weekend, the boiler is in his room, and there is now way that anyone would be able to sleep through its 'singing!'

I was told that the engineer would be here between one and three.  It's now twenty-to-four and I'm still waiting...

this weekend

YKW has left me for the weekend and taken two classes away adventuring.  I don't envy her.

Whilst she is away I will certainly not allow myself to sit around the flat moping!  Tonight I'm going out for dinner with some friends (1 of whom is getting married in 3 weeks and whose stag weekend I had to miss out on,) then tomorrow it is the match of my career.  I have played in some pretty big games - cup finals in England and Scotland, age group internationals etc - but it can't get much bigger than a Glasgow derby when both sides are battling to retain their Premier 1 status.  Put simply, the loser tomorrow will struggle to stay in the division.

Although it is only my second game back I am starting, which I am kind of looking forward to, although I will be out of position on my less favoured tight head side of the scrum (for those of you who understand that.)  I have decided that predictions are a thing of the past, at least until we are 'safe,' because - lets be honest - I'm not going to say anything other than a Hawks win.

Tomorrow evenings activities will depend largely upon the result of tomorrow afternoons match and then we're into Sunday and church in the morning followed by an afternoon and evening spent with YKW.

Oh yeh, and in between that stuff I'm going to try and tidy the flat...

tricky

Things seem a little tricky at the moment. I am not quite sure why, but they do.  I think that that is part of the reason that I haven't been blogging every day - I haven't wanted to say things in haste which I will regret a few hours/days later.

The past 7 days have proved challenging for a whole host of reasons and have added to my awareness that although subtle or non-direct, the cost of being a disciple of Christ can still be great for those of us in this area (ie. Westerners) at this time.  Different to other peoples experiences, but tough nonetheless.

happy new year

It's my birthday.  26.  Another step closer to adulthood.  Nearer to 30 than 20.  More than halfway to 50.  Mental.

Happy New Year, by the way.