Learning to Walk

waiting

For the past few weeks our boiler has been making a bit of a funny noise when it is first switched on.  I thought initially that it was the wind making a 'whistling' noise through the pipe, but I have decided I should get it checked.  Especially because my Dad is coming up for the weekend, the boiler is in his room, and there is now way that anyone would be able to sleep through its 'singing!'

I was told that the engineer would be here between one and three.  It's now twenty-to-four and I'm still waiting...

still hurting

I am still hurting from Saturday's game, to the extent that I think I may go to the gym and do some CV work rather than getting battered again at rugby training tonight.  I remember seeing a film once following the senior England team in which the physio explained that what an international forward goes through can only be equated to a controlled car crash every weekend.  Of course we are nowhere near the level of a full international, but the physicality, especially with the current weather conditions, is incredibly high.

Thankfully the scrapes on my face are beginning to fade now, although they made for some interesting looks in the hospital yesterday.  The hospital visiting continues to challenge me.  It also saddens and encourages me: saddens because some of the people and relatives are hurting so far beyond anything that my body is going through after what seems like a fairly trivial (in comparison) game of rugby; encourages me because amongst the pain and suffering there are genuine stories of hope.  Yesterday afternoon an elderly lady asked me to pray with her.  Then, as I came to leave, the lady in the bed next to her leant over and said; "I prayed with you too."  What a great story; two people, with every right to feel that things are a bit unfair, trusting in Christ and knowing that their hope is in Him.  I left feeling incredibly encouraged.

must-win

Yesterday was a must-win-game, and we won.  It was a horrible afternoon, raining from the start on a pitch that was only just playable.  But we dug it out, it was a real battle up front, and were actually convincing winners; 26-7 (I even contributed 5 of those points, "not bad for a prop" as one friend texted me last night.)

Such is the closeness of the league at the moment that we could still get relegated if the team in the 2nd 'drop' spot win all their remaining games and we lose all of ours.  At the same time we could also climb to 3rd/4th if we win ours and other results work for us.  I am pretty confident that having seen GHA yesterday, that they will not stay up and Hawks go down.  But we can make sure of that with a home win next weekend - by which time I hope my body will be feeling a bit better than it is right now!

this weekend

YKW has left me for the weekend and taken two classes away adventuring.  I don't envy her.

Whilst she is away I will certainly not allow myself to sit around the flat moping!  Tonight I'm going out for dinner with some friends (1 of whom is getting married in 3 weeks and whose stag weekend I had to miss out on,) then tomorrow it is the match of my career.  I have played in some pretty big games - cup finals in England and Scotland, age group internationals etc - but it can't get much bigger than a Glasgow derby when both sides are battling to retain their Premier 1 status.  Put simply, the loser tomorrow will struggle to stay in the division.

Although it is only my second game back I am starting, which I am kind of looking forward to, although I will be out of position on my less favoured tight head side of the scrum (for those of you who understand that.)  I have decided that predictions are a thing of the past, at least until we are 'safe,' because - lets be honest - I'm not going to say anything other than a Hawks win.

Tomorrow evenings activities will depend largely upon the result of tomorrow afternoons match and then we're into Sunday and church in the morning followed by an afternoon and evening spent with YKW.

Oh yeh, and in between that stuff I'm going to try and tidy the flat...

awesome

I was lucky enough to be able to spend the afternoon yesterday with some of the more senior members of the St Silas family - and what a great time it was.  As we sat chatting, praying and celebrating communion together, the snow swept through the valley and was left glistening on the hill tops in the not far off distance.  Magical.

I am a big time believer in the community nature of faith in Jesus Christ and yesterday afternoon was such a fine example of that community at work through fellowship, prayer, worship, remembrance, and looking forward.  At training last night one of my mates asked me what I'd done during the day; "How many coffees was it today?!" he asked, grin fixed firmly on his face (he thinks I just drink coffee and chat with people all day).  I told him about my afternoon.  "Awesome" he said, somewhat surprised, slightly sarcastically.  "Yes" I said.  And it really was.

tricky

Things seem a little tricky at the moment. I am not quite sure why, but they do.  I think that that is part of the reason that I haven't been blogging every day - I haven't wanted to say things in haste which I will regret a few hours/days later.

The past 7 days have proved challenging for a whole host of reasons and have added to my awareness that although subtle or non-direct, the cost of being a disciple of Christ can still be great for those of us in this area (ie. Westerners) at this time.  Different to other peoples experiences, but tough nonetheless.

pumped

Hawks started brightly, went 3-0 up, and then it all went wrong.  A non-existent lineout, weak scrum, and poor defence gifted Hawick 19 points in as many minutes.  From the touchline I wasn't relishing the prospect of joining the fray as, put simply, Hawks looked like a team that was down and out.  But I got the call, with 15 minutes of the 1st half left, and duly took my place.  The scrum improved, the lineouts were still terrible, and for the next 60 minutes we stopped Hawick from scoring.  But neither did we manage to score.

It was as bad a defeat as I have been involved in for a long time.  On the upside I played 50 minutes and will be starting next weeks Glasgow derby.  The problem for us is that, with a tough run in, we could be looking at 2nd Division rugby next year if we don't win next week.  And on yesterday's evidence a win will be hard to get.

prediction time

It has been a quiet week on the blog front.  My quietness has a lot to do with last Sunday mornings sermon (go figure).  However, I thought I would resurface with a prediction for today's game; we are struggling, Hawick are struggling more, but Hawick are at home and it is a notoriously nasty place to go and play...

My prediction - Hawks to win.  We had a good time last Saturday, good training this week, and have a strong desire to win.  Find out later whether I'm right or not!

the next step

Today I am going through to Edinburgh for a meeting with the Provincial Director of Ordinands for the Scottish Episcopal Church.  The last week has thrown up some interesting discussions with various people (all of whom I am incredibly lucky to be able to call friends) as I have thought more about some of the areas of conversation that are likely to arise today.  On Sunday evening I preached at St Silas under the title of 'nailing our colours to the mast' and that idea has been a great encouragement to me also.

I am glad to be going on to this stage of the process; for a number of reasons but especially because it means that the final decision (if I get that far) is that bit closer.  I also feel much more 'ready' than I did when the process got underway (15 months ago) and feel that I have matured a lot over that time.  Perhaps the biggest way in which I see this maturing is that I have come to recognise that whether I am accepted or not does not mean that I am called by God to ministry or not (I think that when I started out on the process there was a large element of me which sought the affirmation that selection would bring,) and also in my recognition that we (YKW and I) are interviewing and learning about the church just as much as they are interviewing and learning about me and us.

It is an exciting time - it is nervous also.  But God has led us this far and by the power of the Holy Spirit we trust that he will continue to open the doors which will allow us best to serve Him in our life.

concerts

I have now been to 3 (non-classical concerts) in my life!

Following on from my Meatloaf and Will Young experiences last night was something completely different.  It was in a place called King Tut's Wah Wah Hut, a small venue the likes of which I had never been in; but it was great.  There were 2 support bands of which the second were very good and the main act (Phil Campbell, maybe?) was excellent.  I would buy the CD and go back to the venue - which from a TT fan that is really saying something.

Perhaps I'm evolving.